It was my first semester home at State after transferring from Morehouse to help out around the house with Granny's dementia. I had picked up a young lady for a date and we hit either House of Pizza or Antley's or the old Central Park and came back to campus and just walked around. We had known each other for some time and had flirted before so I tried it...I invited her over to this narrow strip of land and although we had no blanket, she sat right down next to me and we looked up at the night sky together. Now if you know me...really know me, you know that I don't necessarily appreciate nature as much as I should, but I LOVE being outside at night- and so I must have stopped carrying on conversation for the first time that night and as I'm (literally) star gazing, I look over and she's holding out a penny (for my thoughts)...I blabber something to her and then I remembered I had change in my pocket (all I had was change in my pocket) and I offer her a nickel (for her kiss)...she smiles- her dimples pop- and she says..."I'm not kissing you Sterling, you're a nice guy but you're not my man and I don't want to ruin our friendship." More star gazing, more small talk, I had church in the morning so I walk her back to Truth Hall and hug her good night.
If we were having this conversation in person, I'd ask you to look me in my eyes and I'd explain to you that I'm no Saint...and I've made many, many mistakes and in addition to my mistakes, I've also made a few "on purposes"...but I've never tried to impose my will on any young lady...the same way a stolen dollar would feel strange in my pocket, I believe a stolen kiss would feel strange on my lips.
So I've never arbitrarily grabbed a woman's person for gratification or exploitation but let's be clear, there are ways to grab women and be guaranteed that they like it...
We can grab the door when we see them walking in a building behind us.
We can grab the gas pump/air compressor/windshield squeegee when we see a sister struggling at the gas station.
We can grab a bag or two at the grocery store as they buckle their baby in the car seat.
We can grab their attention when we put belts around our waist, starch in our collars and soap on our behinds
We can grab their respect when we finish what we start, keep our word and love our families.
We can grab their admiration when we set the standard, live up to the standard and hold a funeral for our excuses.
We can grab the check when it comes to the table and add the 20% that society expects us to leave off.
We can grab the keys on our way out the door to get the oil changed.
We can grab some slippers when we gather the trash to put on the curb.
We can grab the light bill, cable bill, gas bill, grocery billl...ESPECIALLY if we helped run it up.
We can grab our cell phones when we wake up and text "good morning" to let them know they're thought of.
We can grab our ears and just listen to the events of their day...just...listen...
I agree with the aggressors in one respect however- sometimes you just have to lay hands on these women- and when you do so- when they frustrate you to no end- when they snap on you and they are wrong- when they jump to conclusions- when they nag and pester and even belittle- grab them- it's ok to grab them!
Grab them by their hands, bow your head and lead them in prayer.
Our neighborhoods, our churches, our families, our communities are starving for real, solid men.
I love you and I'd love to be your Pastor.
We worship every Thursday at 12:30 and 7:00 in our weekly Bible Study.
Kindly call 888-628-8983, mute your phone and grow with us.
We worship every Sunday morning at 9:45 for Church School and 11:00 for worship at
203 Henry M. Turner St. Abbeville, SC 29620 in the Heart of Abbeville.
God's Best Be With You Always,
Rev. Sterling J. Dowling